What’s a Parent to Do – Collegiate Edition
As teens go off to college, it’s natural for parents to worry. Are they making friends? Are they getting enough sleep? And perhaps top of mind for many concerned parents: what is my student eating, and are they getting the healthy food and nutrition they need?
Parents might fret that their student is skipping meals, choosing sugary cereals instead of balanced breakfasts, or eating less than healthy midnight snacks. And in many cases, they may be. That’s because college is often the first time teens are fully in charge of their own routines–including what they’re eating and when. They need time to figure out this newfound freedom, and a dining hall and campus environment with a wide variety of food options can feel overwhelming.
Kelli Wood, RDN
As students adjust, parents might be tempted to track, or even course correct, their students’ diets so they don’t fall into bad habits. But involving yourself too much can backfire. They might clam up. And, by stepping in too assertively, you could deprive them of the valuable opportunity to learn from their own mistakes.
As registered dietitian Kelli Wood says, “The best approach to take is a balanced one of active listening and gentle engagement.”
“College is really that foundation for how you eat for the rest of your life,” says Kelli. “As parents, we need to let go of control and let students build their own independence and make their own decisions.”
In this installment of our “What’s a Parent to Do – Collegiate Edition” blog series, Kelli helps us understand how to talk about nutrition and healthy eating with college students both before they head off to school and after they’re living away from home.
Q: How can I positively engage with my child around food and nutrition as they prepare to head off to college?
If you’ve cultivated healthy eating habits from a young age, you’ve already laid a great foundation for your kids as they head to college. College students often mimic the environment they grew up in once they’re at school. That means if they’ve had a healthy balanced diet growing up, chances are they’ll at least partially model their college habits off what they’ve eaten in the past.
One thing to consider, Kelli points out, is that the ‘treat foods’ that children may have had limited access to at home may suddenly be available in unlimited amounts. So, it’s helpful if they’ve already learned how to independently enjoy treats in moderation before they head off.
Before they leave for college, continue to take an “all foods fit” approach, meaning there are no “good,” “bad,” or off-limits foods, Kelli says. Rather, reinforce the idea that a healthy diet includes a variety of foods—healthy foods of course as their main choices—but also their favorite sweet treats and other less healthy fun foods, occasionally and in moderation. That will help your ‘college-student-to-be’ build a healthy relationship with food before they even leave home.
At the same time, you can reinforce positive messages while you’re still eating together, both by serving healthy family meals and by talking about healthy food basics as part of related conversations when the topic comes up naturally.
“Reinforcing that the best way to start your day is with a healthy breakfast, and that eating a variety of fruit and vegetables, plus whole grains, protein, and foods with healthy fats, is always a good approach”, Kelli says.
Q: What are some of the struggles college students often have with nutrition and healthy eating?
One of the biggest changes is that college kids often sleep in when their schedule allows it, and that really does impact how they eat. Students sleeping until noon will miss out on breakfast and have to figure out how to get food in between classes. Time management can be a struggle, says Kelli.
Some college students find they’re getting less physical activity than they did in high school. If they were an athlete, but now they’re opting out of sports, their caloric needs might change, and that can be an adjustment.
The variety of foods in all-you-care-to-eat dining halls can feel overwhelming, too.
Finally, says Kelli, stress has a huge impact on what college students are eating, and vice versa. As with any major life transitions, stress increases during college, especially in the first year. Rising cortisol from stress can impact metabolism, impacting appetite and weight.
It’s important for students to focus on their mental well-being, Kelli says, and for parents to be attuned to that, too.
Recognizing that the transition to college life can be stressful, the dining team’s goal is to create an environment where students can relax, unwind, and enjoy good food—whether they’re grabbing a quick bite themselves or eating with friends.
Both dining hours and the placement of dining locations across campus are carefully considered to make the experience as convenient as possible. And, as Kelli points out, the people who work in the dining locations usually pride themselves on greeting students with a smile and making students feel welcome.
Q: How can I prepare my student for the experience of daily eating in a dining hall? What should I tell them?
In the dining hall, it’s all about balance. You don’t want to discourage your student from eating a particular food, says Kelli, but you can have conversations about the positives of eating a wide variety of healthy foods, and the nutritional benefits.
College is where young people really start to define for themselves what healthy means, she adds, and the dining hall – plus modeling from their peers to some extent – is formative in helping them to come to their own conclusions.
Q: Once they’ve left for college, should I still be talking with my child about healthy foods and nutrition?
You should! But you need to take a slightly different approach than you did when they were living at home. You can work food into a catch-up call by casually asking, “What did you have for dinner tonight?” Then, listen, asking limited questions and gently engaging. “You might comment, ‘That sounds like a delicious and nutritious meal,’” says Kelli.
Knowing what your student views as healthy is a good starting point. Give them space and let them decide for themselves what their own health priorities are, she adds. If you’re too eager or overbearing, your student might feel like you don’t trust them to figure out eating at college themselves, then disengage.
Q: What should I avoid doing or saying?
Be careful not to put too much emphasis on weight since doing that can lead to risky behaviors and unnecessary stress.
People talk about the freshman 15 or 20, but they don’t mention that, while it’s not necessarily uncommon for freshman to gain a bit of weight, that doesn’t mean they’ve developed poor eating habits. It’s just part of the college transition, Kelli says.
It’s important to know that you can be healthy even if you’ve gained a few pounds so we shouldn’t focus on the scale, she adds.
Also, don’t judge your child if they make a food choice you don’t agree with. Avoid rushing to correct their mistakes or “fixing” small issues for them, Kelli says. Instead, get comfortable with them making mistakes and empower them to ultimately come to their own informed, good decisions.
Finally, don’t get upset if their food preferences change; they likely will. If you stock the fridge with their favorite foods when they come home from school, but then they tell you they don’t like those foods anymore, don’t get offended. Be curious about what it is they like now and ask questions.
Q: What if my college student has allergies or they say they just don’t like the foods served in their dining hall?
If students have food allergies or special dietary needs, the transition to college can be a bit harder. Start getting ready well before college by empowering your student to advocate for themselves, understand what kind of foods are safe, and to learn about the steps they can take when they’re on campus to get the information they need, Kelli says.
Encourage them to ask questions. Dining hall menus are almost always online, and looking at them ahead of time can help alleviate worries and head off any surprises. They can also contact the dining services manager or a registered dietitian on campus to set up a meeting to talk about their needs.
Some dining halls have food demos and helpful workshops for students that include tours of the dining facility. Others include opportunities for students to provide feedback on favorite foods, choices they’d like to see more often, and even opportunities to submit family recipes to be included on the menu, making the dining hall feel more like home.
Q: What about social media? I worry they’re getting unhealthy ideas about food and nutrition from influencers online.
It’s true that social media can be very influential; it’s also saturated with misinformation, Kelli says.
Take an interest in who your student might be following on TikTok or Instagram related to food and nutrition. They should know that anyone who makes them feel bad about their bodies or how they eat should get an immediate unfollow. Help them approach information through the lens of, is this factual and backed up by actual research, or does it sound like more of a fad? Get more resources to help.
Q: What are some positive things I can do to both help my student and alleviate some of my own anxieties?
Prioritize listening and allow your child to lead the conversation. Your job is to support them, Kelli says.
If your student says they’re really stressed, listen to why and what they’re feeling. You can gently slip in nods to healthy eating with mentions of drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, and eating healthy foods.
You could also suggest your student attend a welcome session with the dining services team, or, if they’re more interested, even take a class in nutrition. They may be more likely to embrace information from an expert.
If your child is still at home and hasn’t headed off to college quite yet, have them cook meals with you or for themselves, or go grocery shopping to get a baseline for their current approach to food when they’re in the driver’s seat.
Q: What are some red flags to watch out for?
Your student’s mental and emotional well-being is definitely something to keep close tabs on. College is very stressful, and that can impact relationships, diet, and academic success.
Look out for signs, such as unexpected weight loss, your child regularly not getting enough sleep at night, or if they’re feeling drained.
Those could all be signs that your student needs to focus on their mental well-being, says Kelli, and an indicator that they might benefit from on-campus support resources that could ultimately enhance multiple aspects of their daily life, including their diet.
Q: What else should parents know?
Kelli says she wants parents to know that the chefs, dietitians, and other dining services team members on campus pride themselves on creating an environment filled with a variety of fresh, healthy, and delicious foods.
Their goal is to make the healthy choice something that students will want to make—because they really enjoy the food and look forward to it, every day. After all, she says, “Healthy food can and should taste great.”
She reminds parents that most students do find a wide variety of healthy choices that fit their new college life. It may take a while, and if they need some help along the way – the dining team encourages students to reach out if they have questions or need a helping hand.
Kelli Wood is a Registered Dietitian and part of Aramark’s network of Collegiate Hospitality nutrition leaders. Every day, Kelli and Aramark dietitians across the country utilize their knowledge and experience to help create an environment supportive of health and wellbeing on campus–leading health and wellness programs and engaging with students to help fuel their success and feed their potential.
Note: Since everyone’s health history and nutritional needs are so different, please make sure that you talk with your doctor and a registered dietitian to get advice about the diet and exercise plan that‘s right for you.