From an early age, we’re taught to dream big. Setting (and crushing!) goals can give life a sense of meaning and purpose.
But going after really big goals can be equal parts exciting and intimidating. Huge ambitions take a lot of time and energy—and success often doesn’t come right away. Whether you’re earning a degree, working toward a promotion, or training for a marathon, it can be hard to get and stay motivated for the long haul.
So, what’s the secret to success? We asked licensed professional counselor Yarvell Gardner how to tackle big new challenges, sustain motivation, and keep your eyes on the prize.
Bumps in the Road
Yarvell Randolph Gardner, MHS, LPC
Before you get too hard on yourself, chasing big goals is undeniably tough. In fact, our brains are wired to resist it.
“Human beings are conditioned to avoid discomfort and run toward pleasure—and sustained effort pulls you way out of your comfort zone,” Yarvell points out.
That explains why we often prefer to sleep in on the weekends instead of studying or working out, or why we reach for fast food instead of cooking a nutritious meal at home. Instant gratification is easier and feels better in the moment.
But human nature isn’t the only obstacle you might encounter on your way to achieving big goals. Some setbacks are out of your control, like the state of the job market, organizational changes at your company, or an unexpected injury.
Other barriers are more manageable—think about your personal mindset, habits, and schedule—but no less real.
Motivation Strategies for Tackling Big Challenges
Making a goal is the easy part, but sticking with it is the challenge. Here are Yarvell’s tips for getting unstuck when the going gets tough.
1. Truly (truly!) commit.
There is a clear difference between something you’d like to do and something you want to do, Yarvell tells us.
When you are committed to something, you’re unstoppable.
2. Remember your “why.”
Borrowing from one of the popular 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Yarvell recommends beginning with the end in mind. What does your goal mean to you?
If you want to lose 10 pounds, for instance, the reward is not just a number on a scale but gaining more energy and feeling more comfortable in your clothes. If you are working toward a degree or a promotion, the reward could be a higher salary that helps you provide more for your family.
Write down your “why” (a sticky note will do the trick!) and keep it in a visible spot.
3. Break your goal down into smaller steps.
Small steps are much easier to attain than big leaps, so Yarvell recommends “slow-walking or snowballing your way to success.”
For example, if your goal is to improve your eating habits, first try replacing refined grains with whole grains. Once you have the hang of that, try replacing your usual lunch with a scrumptious salad three days a week. From there you can work on drinking more water, and so on.
Before you know it, you’re on your way to a healthier lifestyle. Or, to look at it another way, break that 10-pound weight loss goal into two–pound increments.
Each small win gives you a boost of feel-good hormones, which can motivate you to keep going.
This tip is especially useful for anyone prone to overplanning, procrastination, or indecisiveness.
“Remember, you won’t attain your goal until you get started,” Yarvell reminds us. “A loose plan is often better than a detailed plan, and it’s okay for your plan to evolve.”
4. Eliminate distractions.
If you’re truly committed to a big goal (see #1 above!), you’re going to need to make some big changes. That means carving out time for what’s important and making that time count.
What can you pause or take off your plate?
Perhaps you can share meal planning responsibilities or exchange babysitting or dog-walking services with a neighbor. You might also need to say “no” to new requests and opportunities for a while as you prioritize your big high-priority goal.
5. Focus on the positive.
Thought replacement” is a tried-and-true technique for behavior change: Swap negative thoughts for positive ones, and your attitude is bound to improve, too.
So instead of thinking how hard it is to go for that training run, focus on all the beautiful scenery you’ll encounter and how accomplished you’ll feel afterward.
If a task is associated with pleasurable thoughts and memories, you are much more likely to do it.
6. Test your SMARTs.
A SMART goal is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. If you’re struggling to reach your goals, one or more key ingredients could be missing.
Didn’t land a new job in three months? Perhaps six or nine months is a more realistic expectation.
Setting SMART goals crystallizes your vision to increase your likelihood of success—which is why “I want to learn beginner French before my trip to Paris next summer” is a far better goal than the vague “I’d like to learn a new language someday.”
7. Find your people.
You’ve probably heard about the power of accountability partners. Be intentional about finding someone who shares your goal or can help you reach it.
It’s great to have the full support of family and closest friends, but you may need to look beyond your inner circle, Yarvell advises.
“Find the people who will support you and that you can talk to when things get rough. That’s exactly why support groups exist,” she says.
No matter what, remember your goal is ultimately your responsibility and no one else’s.
8. Embrace mistakes and setbacks.
Who likes to fail? No one, that’s who! The key is to learn from your slip-up, so it doesn’t ruin your entire endeavor.
Professional athletes often exemplify this resilience mindset—like the basketball player who misses a shot and shakes it off so they can score later in the game.
“You must have a short memory for perceived failures and hope for the next opportunity,” Yarvell says. “Think of failure as a steppingstone to move forward in life, and then it becomes less scary.”
9. Be honest and kind with yourself.
If you’re STILL feeling unmotivated, maybe that big goal might not be right for you, at least not right now.
“Sometimes we want things because we think we’re supposed to want them, and we actually don’t. It’s hard to motivate yourself around something you don’t really want,” says Yarvell.
If you continue to struggle with significant fear, anxiety, or uncertainty, consider talking with a mental health professional to help get you over any major challenges you may be facing.
So maybe you’re content with your current role at your current company after all. Perhaps you weren’t destined to run a marathon, become a brain surgeon, or write the Great American Novel.
It’s okay to set that goal aside, show yourself some grace, and move on—so a new ambition can take its place.
Go-Getter
The bigger the mountain, the more motivation and effort it will take to climb.
The next time you’re feeling daunted by a new challenge, turn to Yarvell’s advice to help you envision the summit and trek on through tough terrain.
The sky’s the limit—now, go get ‘em!
Note: Since everyone’s health history and nutritional needs are so different, please make sure that you talk with your doctor and a registered dietitian to get advice about the diet and exercise plan that‘s right for you.